I'm Tired Of

The sameness of sibilant steam
For early morning tea;
The sound of soft snoring
From the other rooms or
Lifesavers stale n sticky
Under cushion seats

The humdrum drone of
Frustrated poets
Dreaming they're great and I
A frequent flier
Just for longing for
Freedom or escape.

Sameness sticky with its
Familarity
I wish to
Move beyond the stale cold air
That surrounds me hissing
With the sound of
Shifting snow; silent
Footsteps that
Return home once again
From their long journey
Elsewhere

Excuse me...come again?

What do you do when you are torn between the safe and easy route and the unknown and adventurous route?
Usually I would definitively express preference for the unknown, but now that I'm faced with that choice in a larger, life-route decision, I'm not so sure.
A Masters and then a PhD--thats easy and safe. I know how to go about doing that. I know the universities to apply to, I know how to write, and how to research. It is a safe path that I'm sure I would find happiness walking.
However, something alluring and unshakeable is lurking in the back of my mind. Service, health, refugees, poverty, culture: these things roll around in my mind and awakens the part of me that has always known that my place is not here, but elsewhere; somewhere abroad. My work is not the self-enriching work of the scholar but the work of a self-sacrificing servant to people unknown.
Do I have the courage to follow a dream when I do not even know where to start or how to prepare? I guess we'll see...

The Night of Inti-illimani

The purpose of music is to express what is too beautiful for words. It communicates to the parts of our souls that no language can. Music comes closest of all communication to speaking the language we lost in the fall. Our tongues were not made to speak the language of the angels, but we can attempt to imitate those glorious sounds with song.

‘How was the show?’ you ask me.
To try to describe it would cheapen the experience.
Nevertheless, I will share some of my thought.

Soaring high on currents of inspiration the notes plunge down and pierce my chest where they quiver in perfect harmony with the vibration of my soul.
The beat sneaks behind my ribcage urging me up and round and round. The drums sing of movement and my body moves to obey the call.

If plants were made from notes, sunsets of melodies, and animals were made from rhythms; Inti-illimani would have just recreated Eden in each atom of my frame. They have struck my stone and bright water springs forth and I will never want or thirst for inspiration as long as their notes resonate in my memory.

What Dreams Can Come On a Sleepless Night

The tick of the clock speaks to me of silence that seems all the more cacophonous for the stillness.
The air sits heavy in the room and against my skin. Pushing me down toward unconsciousness.
I struggle to remain aware, for the stillness is the indrawn breath that the audience holds before the show.
Though the clock only speaks of silence, the show must be proportionately more exquisite for the anticipation.

Time Politely Says "Excuse Me"

Days swim by, unnoticed and unnoted. My life slips by unrecorded and soon all these feelings and thoughts will go the way of all ephemeral things. They will die and, soon afterward, forgotten. And yet, I do nothing to stem the flow. I do not even dip my hands in and try futilely to cup the memories as they slowly leak through my fingers. Scrap pieces of paper and a few jotted notes are all I have and the wind scatters them like leaves from my book.

Brain Dead

Have you ever felt like you are on the edge of consciousness but you are actually wide awake?
Umm...me neither.
My brain called in sick this weekend, but I don't think it was really sick. I think it just needed some R&R. However, it was similar to a CEO calling in sick in a large corporation, actually that's a bad example. It was like a chef calling in sick in a small restaurant. I no longer functioned correctly. I could only do the things that were habit or natural. People kept talking to me, but since my mind was else were, I was unable to respond much. My brain is back though, which is a very good thing and I'm functioning at almost 100% (My brain is a bit lackadaisical since it just got back from vacation).
Welcome back brain!