28 November 2006

sleepless: that time of the semester

Life is more interesting when you are tired. You see, being in college, I don’t get much sleep to begin with. Add to that a roommate whose mood depends on the weather; church work; a strange desire to sit around and eat peanut butter; a boy; graduate applications; and another roommate who tells a story 15 times to feel validated; and sleep evaporates quicker than sweat in a Phoenix June. As I lose sleep, my mind stops focusing on everything, as if it is trying to speed read through life, and only picks up the key words. This is why life is more interesting when you are sleep deprived. At night, when I try to remember my day, the classes and exchanges with friends merge and it reads back like this:

Beeping clock! te quiero, quiero mi cama. The jussive equals a hortatory riding Ceasar’s chariot, though late. Buzzing phone! Sorry, it’s not that Lesbia doesn’t love Hegel, it’s that I think the future perfect passive looks a lot like lunch. Is he speaking Greek? Achilles, stop trying to project yourself on American literature. я тебя люблю. Sappho muses about Poe’s meter and does a jig when class ends but the Nietzschean apotheosis of man eats my chocolate. Honk! Horses are fast now-a-days. Hey, the door is broken and Em just demystified the mammoth philosophers of next door, again. You look so Rip Van Wrinkle that nocturne is a perfect aria. Sit and drink this gestalt and sleep off your bilabial plosives. ἀγάπω ὕπνος.

Thus ended my fiftieth post.

20 November 2006

i'm begining to believe that i can't do all of it

It's funny how things can come out of nowhere and totally blindside you. I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time and I don't really see that changing much before the end of the semester. I'm really looking forward to the Thanksgiving break, but that means the deadlines for my applications are coming up as well and I sitll haven't finished my statement of academic purpose. It's not like I don't know what I want to study. It's just a matter of getting it done. I'm sick of filling out forms and the constant and pointless worry I put myself through. I really just want to call it quits but I know I won't be happy if academics isn't part of my life in some way.

For now I need to continue to fool everyone into believing that I know Greek and I need to actually learn enough latin to fool everyone with, and I need to finish these stupid applications.

Back to work.