umm, yeah. Turkey rocks my socks!

As the last day of my trip looms closer, I realize that I can't even imagine leaving Turkey. I don't want to walk down streets that don't sparkle with dancing lights from mirrors sewn onto bags, purses, and wall art and where the colors are dull, unlike the brilliant colors of carpets hanging outside the shops here. I don't want to shop where the owner does not offer me apple tea and does not ask after my family and background. I know now that I will miss this country where houses are either painted bright colors or left white against the cerelean blue backdrop; where staring isn't considered rude and even the older men get as nervous as school boys while talking to me; where ancient sites lie amoung groves of olive, cypress, and orange trees just waiting to be explored; where it isn't considered a meal unless yougart or cheese is involved. I have fallen for Turkey.
Turkey is an amazing mix, with women wearing everything from the hijab to headscarfs to the latest mini-skirt from Europe. The backdrop of ancient white marble, crumbling grey stones, and solo columns give a sharp contrast to the vivid reds, greens, blues, and oranges of Turkish life. This place has everything I love: a fasinating, multi-layered history, great food, wonderful music, vibrant culture, and beautiful people. I don't want to leave.

Now that my ranting is done, I have to appologize for not updating more (not that many people read this anyway). The places we have been here in Turkey have been amazing. Let me give you a run down of some of the places we have been.
Çanakale- this is right on the Hellespont and as I sat among pine trees, dipping my feet in the cold water, my mind was boggled by the thought of how many battles were fought here, from the Persian wars to WWI. The waters seemed to peaceful to have been the cause of so many deaths.
Hisarlik/Truva/Troy/Ilium- no one can seem to agree on a name. They are not the most striking ruins, but nothing can beat it for its romance. Supposedly the site of Homer's Ilium, the ruins are fasinating because of all the layers of history you can see. I recited the first line of the Iliad (poorly) per promise.
Alexander Troas- Built by one of Alex the great's generals this site is all but forgotten. Almost impossible to get to by public transportation but well worth going to. The ruins are over-grown and there wasn't another person in sight until a guy showed up on a motorbike to give us a personal tour. The theater just looked like odd shaped mountain since it was completely covered in trees.
Assos- one of the most conservative towns we have stayed in. It was right on the water with amazing views of Lesvos from the Temple to Athena at the top of the hill.
Pergamum- beautiful columns that were perfectly picturesque from every angle. The asclepion was also really cool and we ended up eating lunch where the library used to be. My favorite was the round temple where ill people would sleep in order to recieve dreams about how to cure their illness.
Ephesus- absolutely amazing if it wasn't for the disgusting amount of cruise boat tourists. The library was of course my favortie, but a close second had to be the ancient latrines.

Ok, I've seen ten other sites since then, but I don't have time right now to write about them. I promise to catch up later. Right now I'm sitting in an internet cafe in Göreme which is in Cappadocia. I hope everyone is doing well.

Istanbul

I did have a hard time finding Ak in London because her plane was delayed and she missed the connection. It wasn't a big deal because she just came in on a latter flight and took a taxi to the hotel. That was fine. However, due to unforseen events my mother had to fly out after the third day here in Istanbul.
Other than that our trip has been great. The Aya Sophia is amazing, the iznik tiles in the blue mosque are stunning, the grand bazaar is overwhelming, the spice bazaar smells wonderful, apple tea is delicious, as are the kabaps and baklava, the whirling dirvishes are fasinating, and I'm running out of adjectives so I'll stop there.
The only problem I have with Turkey is the intense male energy. Since we are single western girls, the men here assume we are easy. It gets old really quickly, but some of the lines are quite amusing, such as: -why are you so beautiful?- that is the million dollar question and my favorite -I can take you to second paradise- what happened to the first one?
Another unforgettable Turkish experience is the Hamam, turkish bath. Public nudity is odd, even if it is only with other women and being scrubbed down by a turkish woman is also an odd experience, but my lady started singing to be in turkish and it was so neat. Basically, in the Hamam is a large marble slab that is heated and a bunch of women are just lounging around on it. After getting sufficiently hot and sweaty, an attendant comes around and gives you a vigorous scrub down pouring cool water on you every once in awhile. It feels amazing once you get past the awkward nakedness.
Well, I don't have much time so I've gotta run! I hope you are all doing well!

Killing time in airports

Chicago O'Hare 3:40 pm
Notes:
the juxtaposition of plastic utensils and cloth napkins (silverware is not permitted past security, which includes the Wolfgang Puck cafe that we are sitting at)
a jazz combo trying to liven up the O'Hare airport
suddenly remembering what you forgot, like my mom forgetting the travel clock I was going to take on to Jordan. So far I have forgotten nothing, or, rather, I have not yet remembered the things that I have forgotten.

London 9:07 am
The flight was not too bad considering that we had middle seats. Luckily we were able to procure the bulkhead and, therefore, had plenty of leg room. We meet up with AK (I'll consult with her later about a better 'nym). I'm a bet nervous about finding her since I do not have her flight info, but, really, how hard is it to find a 6-foot Korean girl? I guess we'll find out. For now, I'm going to soak up the western-ness of the London airport and walk through a bookstore or two and enjoy the fact that I can read everything, because it is going to be nine weeks before I see abundant English and true western culture. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to it in most ways.

3...2...1...take off

I leave in a few hours and on Saturday at 7:20 am Mountain Daylight Time/4:20 pm Eastern European Summer Time I will arrive in Istanbul. We will go directly to our fabulously quaint pension, Empress Zoe (and yeah, that's the Hagia Sophia behind the hotel), that I found for our stay in Istanbul. I'm excited to get there and start our trip! Four days in Istanbul and then it's on to Hisarlik (Troy)! As a right of passage, I will recite the first line of the Iliad in Greek from memory. I'm sure I'll butcher it, but it's something I've gotta do. Now I need to finish packing. I hope I do not follow Skylark's example and forget my underwear.

Why I fear the night

I feel the tug of exaggerated gravity, gravity of thought, my inner world weighing so much more than the outer. I reach out trying to grip anything, looking around for something or someone to hold on to. It would be better if I could see nothing and could feel no substance around me. That would be better than looking around at all the humanity and feeling the smoothness of your skin knowing that you will not notice me slide downward, and no matter how hard I try my hands will slip.
I can do it this time, I think, but then I feel the delicate touch of razor blades, slightly curved at the tip. They surround my ankle and I feel the sting of inner flesh meeting the cool metallic surface of the blades. Gasping, I look down into thousands of eyes, reflecting my light like prisms, reflecting it in every direction but back at me.
A woman’s voice wafts up from the darkness below the eyes,

Give it up

But maybe I won’t have to go, this time --too hopeful

You say that every time. Come now and the blades won’t cut too deep and we’ll be able to mend you back to normal

I notice the blades are some kind of deformed digits attached to a spindly, scaly leg that reaches outward then is jerked back toward the eyes by a knobby joint at an impossible angle.

How can you say that when you know you are just going to rend me to pieces when I sink beneath

Hmm, that is true, but we’ll stitch you up real nice. No one will ever know

That’s the problem

A deep chuckle and the blades reach higher shearing skin cells apart from each other as if my legs were really just made of hundreds of miniscule zippers. As the eyes get closer, my eyes focus on two that seem to match, the laugh deeps and turns masculine and the eyes sink back into a face. Ice eyes and pale white skin that does not shine in the dim light, but instead seems to absorb it. A face I know well; a face that has haunted my dreams and subconscious for years.

Come

I cannot speak. I cannot move. I can only gaze desperately into those almost white irises and sink further. His hands reach up gripping the hair behind my ears in firm fists.

Now!

He yanks me forward toward his death-pale face and blood-red lips.
Pulling me down. Pulling me in.

Pulling me inward.

7 days 'til take off

I've been meaning to blog for awhile but never could get things into words before my short attention span forced me to seek a new activity. Life has been crazy, good, but crazy. I'm stressed with the packing, but I'm extremely excited about the adventures I will be pursuing. I leave in a week. I hope to blog while I'm in Turkey and Jordan, just to keep everyone updated. I don't have time to write a full post at the moment so I'll just post my latest poem.

A Distant Night

Skin hot and humid as sex
but your hand sliding up my skin
and tongue pressing on my lips
are as platonic as far-flung Pluto
ever orbiting my orange flame
my heat stretched thin
traversing
space
to lick your lunar face

Better this than the satellite static and
distance distance masks
Better this than face a dream
no sleep could pin down
Better this.