19 August 2006

wanderlust satiated?

Home. I've never been more relieved and happier to arrive home after a trip. After nine and a half weeks of traveling, five of which were in a neighboring country to some serious warfare; picking the worst day to be in Heathrow; and 38 hours of traveling I was grateful to arrive in AZ and to see my mother waiting for me, even though she didn't recognize me until I was eight feet away because I was wearing my hijab.
Provo. I drove into Provo via Provo Canyon and for the first time in my life I uttered the words "it's good to be back in Provo". I questioned my mental health a bit. However, I understand that this is where my friends, my school, and my life are. AZ home, unfortunately, feels less like home and more like a place I visit on vacation. I still love being there with my family and the few friends that I still have there, but I get restless if I'm there too long. With that said, I'm heading back to AZ tomorrow for a few more days to enjoy the company of my bro, LaMancha, and my mother.
These past five days here in Provo have been great. It is great to know that your friends miss you and worry about you. The excitement that some of my friends have displayed at my return has really made me feel loved. Maybe it is only because I came bearing gifts and really good stories. Oh well, I'll take what I can get. :)
I had a few epiphanies while I was in Jordan and many changes to my life plans and my career path have been made (again). I figured out that, while I enjoy public health studies, I am not passionate enough about it to make a career out of it. At least for now. I just haven't followed my other passions far enough yet to abandon them. I should not leave academia just because I'm afraid that I'm not good or smart enough to succeed. Therefore, I have decided to go on and get a masters in classics (hopefully) and then onward to a PhD in English. Why? Because I'm interested in studying the impact of the classics on english literature and I want formal training in the classics before I move on to my PhD program in English. Now I have to find a masters program in classics that will take me with the little language skills that I will have achieved by then. This is not easy and it is stressing me out a bit.
Luckily I have two amazing roommates that brighten up my life! These are a few of our new mottos for our lovely apartment:
G5 Mottos:
-Concentrating is hard!
-If it doesn't fit, it was ugly anyway
-Don't deesh me!
-What the hell is he thinking?!
-dang it. I know I'm forgetting one...look for updates in the near future...

...I remembered! Actually, Skylark called and reminded me of our fifth motto:
-20 minutes late is early

05 August 2006

broken glass

Two days ago I managed to step on the bottom of a broken glass and since I stepped on the edge the other side flew up and inserted itself an inch below the inside of my left ankle. I proceeded to bleed about 1/4 of a cup of blood on the sidewalk before we managed to get some tissues. We then couldn't find a taxi to take me back home, so Mirvet (my Jordanian friend) left me sitting on the curb bleeding, while she went and found a cab. I did finally make it back, but it was a definite adventure. The wound is now healing very well and has not gotten infected.
I have only 4 days until I leave Jordan. Which made me start thinking about whether I wanted to go home or not. On one hand, I am really enjoying my time here and feel like I have finally gotten into the swing of things here. On the other hand, I will have been gone for 9 weeks and am really looking forward to getting back to normal life. So, I've compiled a list of things I can't wait to have/do at home and a list of things I'll really miss when I leave Jordan.

Things I'm looking forward to:
1. spinach salads (I know its weird, but I've really missed them)
2. my family and friends (it really has been too long)
3.washing machines (after 9 weeks of doing my laundry in the bath tub, I'm ready to have really clean clothes)
4. buildings that are other colors than beige (seriously, I'm really sick of beige)
5. thai and korean food (although I did have some amazing sushi while I was here)
6. buying books
7. driving myself around (no more taxis for me)
8. walking around barefoot on sidewalks that don't have broken glass on them
9. breathing without inhaling a ton of second-hand smoke
10. sleeping in my own room

Things I'll miss:
1. falafel (oh man, the falafel here is amazing, actually I'm going to get one right now)
2. the random 'your beautiful' comments
3. colorful veils/hijabs
4. haggling for everything I buy
5. walks on campus
6. listening to the Quran on the radio in cabs
7. belly dancing class
8. our hotel staff
9. the group and roommates
10. "welcome to Jordan" everywhere we go
11. 'lobby time'
12. class in a hotel room