19 August 2006

wanderlust satiated?

Home. I've never been more relieved and happier to arrive home after a trip. After nine and a half weeks of traveling, five of which were in a neighboring country to some serious warfare; picking the worst day to be in Heathrow; and 38 hours of traveling I was grateful to arrive in AZ and to see my mother waiting for me, even though she didn't recognize me until I was eight feet away because I was wearing my hijab.
Provo. I drove into Provo via Provo Canyon and for the first time in my life I uttered the words "it's good to be back in Provo". I questioned my mental health a bit. However, I understand that this is where my friends, my school, and my life are. AZ home, unfortunately, feels less like home and more like a place I visit on vacation. I still love being there with my family and the few friends that I still have there, but I get restless if I'm there too long. With that said, I'm heading back to AZ tomorrow for a few more days to enjoy the company of my bro, LaMancha, and my mother.
These past five days here in Provo have been great. It is great to know that your friends miss you and worry about you. The excitement that some of my friends have displayed at my return has really made me feel loved. Maybe it is only because I came bearing gifts and really good stories. Oh well, I'll take what I can get. :)
I had a few epiphanies while I was in Jordan and many changes to my life plans and my career path have been made (again). I figured out that, while I enjoy public health studies, I am not passionate enough about it to make a career out of it. At least for now. I just haven't followed my other passions far enough yet to abandon them. I should not leave academia just because I'm afraid that I'm not good or smart enough to succeed. Therefore, I have decided to go on and get a masters in classics (hopefully) and then onward to a PhD in English. Why? Because I'm interested in studying the impact of the classics on english literature and I want formal training in the classics before I move on to my PhD program in English. Now I have to find a masters program in classics that will take me with the little language skills that I will have achieved by then. This is not easy and it is stressing me out a bit.
Luckily I have two amazing roommates that brighten up my life! These are a few of our new mottos for our lovely apartment:
G5 Mottos:
-Concentrating is hard!
-If it doesn't fit, it was ugly anyway
-Don't deesh me!
-What the hell is he thinking?!
-dang it. I know I'm forgetting one...look for updates in the near future...

...I remembered! Actually, Skylark called and reminded me of our fifth motto:
-20 minutes late is early

3 comments:

Saule Cogneur said...

Passion? O-V-E-R-R-A-T-E-D

Sarah said...

maybe for some people passion is overrated, but some of us love to love our careers, or at least LIKE the subjects we study in school... because concentrating is hard even if you do like the subject!

yay! nocturne is back in town and we will party in between studying all year long!

emily said...

You're right, I wasn't really happy to see you, I just pretend because you give me cool presents. By the way, that should be "bearing" gifts, not "baring". I hope. I only correct you because I know you will return the favor. Bare with me...!

We're going back to Provo in 2 days! I'm excited about that, too. weird.