25 September 2006

sunday school

I got called to be a sunday school teacher again. I'm really happy because it's the only calling I really enjoy doing.

So, today I taught Isaiah 1-6. When we read Isaiah 1:3, "The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib," I explained that the hebrew word 'crib' meant manger or stall. At this point, a friend of mine who has a penchant for snarky remarks during my lessons shouted out that he thought that 'crib' meant house. To which I replied that I'm sure that his house is a crib, but, as we all know, a bunch of asses do live there. It took me a good minute to stop laughing and another minute to get the rest of the class to stop laughing. My roommate, PRgirl, complemented me on my great ass crack. It was a great asinine day.

I think it was a perfect way to start off my new (renewed?) calling.

23 September 2006

fall

Today, it felt like fall.
I drank apple cider and soaked in the beauty of my favorite season.
I was content.

21 September 2006

to 'normal' people~

I have a few things to clarify since you don't seem to be too quick on the uptake.

*I will not temper my mind so you can understand.

*I will not sit by calmly as you label me disordered or deficient.
How do you presume to label something you don't understand? You have labeled a huge part of me as negative and as a child I believed you. I looked at myself and thought that I must have been made wrong; now I know that I was just made different.

*I refuse to be labeled such and then congratulated for overcoming such difficult obstacles or for beating such bad odds.
Yes, certain things were more difficult for me to learn than they were for you. Sure, I didn't learn to read proficiently until mid-elementary school, but that does not mean that I'm slow or deficient; I just learn language differently, no, I learn everything differently than you do. Traditional school was hard for me, but the things that you call my deficiencies and disorders are the things that give me my natural gifts as well. So, they are not just obstacles but also stepping stones, not just curses but also blessings. I would not trade them for anything. They give me my intuition, creativity, alertness, holistic understanding (especially with languages), and most of my most treasured attributes.

However, these are the attributes that you do not get, because you can't even fathom the way my mind works, how it is wired. Which brings me back to my first point:

*I will not temper my mind so you can understand, because you won't.

17 September 2006

flesh tones

I have a tendency to paint and draw monochromatically. This is partly because I really like painting in monochromatic, but partly because I'm scared of flesh tones. This wouldn't be a huge deal if I didn't paint so many people, but human subjects are my favorite. However, I recently decided to start a new pastel project, because I haven't done any art except sketches in a long time and I hated the last painting I completed. I also decided that I would try my hand at flesh tones. I have embarked on my first completely realistic pastel work. I started this evening on the drawing which is of a Peruvian girl and her little brother. I managed to finish (well, mostly) the girl's face and part of her clothes this evening and I was so happy with the results that I'm going to share my work in progress with you (the drawing is about 2" by 1.25"). I am really excited with how the skin tones turned out. This might be a bit self-congratulatory, but it's better than the other things I debated posting about.

05 September 2006

passion

emotion without reason
action without caution

19 August 2006

wanderlust satiated?

Home. I've never been more relieved and happier to arrive home after a trip. After nine and a half weeks of traveling, five of which were in a neighboring country to some serious warfare; picking the worst day to be in Heathrow; and 38 hours of traveling I was grateful to arrive in AZ and to see my mother waiting for me, even though she didn't recognize me until I was eight feet away because I was wearing my hijab.
Provo. I drove into Provo via Provo Canyon and for the first time in my life I uttered the words "it's good to be back in Provo". I questioned my mental health a bit. However, I understand that this is where my friends, my school, and my life are. AZ home, unfortunately, feels less like home and more like a place I visit on vacation. I still love being there with my family and the few friends that I still have there, but I get restless if I'm there too long. With that said, I'm heading back to AZ tomorrow for a few more days to enjoy the company of my bro, LaMancha, and my mother.
These past five days here in Provo have been great. It is great to know that your friends miss you and worry about you. The excitement that some of my friends have displayed at my return has really made me feel loved. Maybe it is only because I came bearing gifts and really good stories. Oh well, I'll take what I can get. :)
I had a few epiphanies while I was in Jordan and many changes to my life plans and my career path have been made (again). I figured out that, while I enjoy public health studies, I am not passionate enough about it to make a career out of it. At least for now. I just haven't followed my other passions far enough yet to abandon them. I should not leave academia just because I'm afraid that I'm not good or smart enough to succeed. Therefore, I have decided to go on and get a masters in classics (hopefully) and then onward to a PhD in English. Why? Because I'm interested in studying the impact of the classics on english literature and I want formal training in the classics before I move on to my PhD program in English. Now I have to find a masters program in classics that will take me with the little language skills that I will have achieved by then. This is not easy and it is stressing me out a bit.
Luckily I have two amazing roommates that brighten up my life! These are a few of our new mottos for our lovely apartment:
G5 Mottos:
-Concentrating is hard!
-If it doesn't fit, it was ugly anyway
-Don't deesh me!
-What the hell is he thinking?!
-dang it. I know I'm forgetting one...look for updates in the near future...

...I remembered! Actually, Skylark called and reminded me of our fifth motto:
-20 minutes late is early